Two beaches, three seas and a dinghy.....

or what the beard did on Holiday.... well, sort of.... and when I say three seas, it could be less or more, depending on how you see these things.... at least, the english Channel and the irish sea cannot be quibbled with, even if you are of a nautical bent, but whether Poole Harbour counts i frnkly debatable..... but a discussion about whether the Channel counts as part of the North sea or part of the Atlantic ocean, or whether the alleged Sleeve is a sea in its own right, led the beard to wonder quite wonderingly as to where the borders of our various seas are, and why..... of course, all borders are a man made confection, with the possible exception of coastline, but at least land borders (some at least) are easily explainable.... rivers, mountain ranges and the like... although some are less so, relying as they do on imaginary lines invented by slightly less imaginary people, or on vague land aquisitions by men with weaponry..... but sea borders are even less obvious and even less logical.... if they were, for example, based on coral reefs, or some such... well.... admittedly, the western 9to the Beard) border between the atlantic and pacific i slightly obvious on a map, being the American continent, but again, lss so on the ground, as it were..... out of sight of land, how do i know if I'm in the south china sea, the pacific ocean, or the Indian ocean... or even the Baltic for that matter..... and this, i think, is the nub of the matter.,,,, that the sea, even more so than the land, is one entity... it has no borders, and to the best of our knowledge, no nations.... but the sea itself hides the fact that all land is actually joined together..... no, for centurie swe have divided everything, from land, to resources, to seas.... hen really what we should have been doing was sharing them.... a a friend of the beards once said, in response to yet another appeal to help relieve famine, there is enough food to go around... problem is that it stays in one place.... but I digress..... the point is that my head hurts from lack of sleep, one of my projects is desperate for a re write, and I'm starting to lose track of what i actually wanted to say..... so I'll leave you all to it, except to say thatuntl we all believe in sharing without division, Wisebeard Salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edges, hedges, and the being quite fed up of rhyming headlines....

So, as those who may know the Beard will attest, there is something in me that is abnormally attracted to Edges.... the areas where what is known drops away, and we are left staring over a sheer drop... the place where one thing abruptly and suddenly becomes something else.... don't get me wrong, smooth, blurred transitions are good too, and ambiguity is something i love, but edge just hold the edge on them.... so the weekend has been very good to me, with a trip to the area where lime become grit, the ridge between dark and white, similar to the conditions a young man of my fictional aquaintance is experiencing.... followe by a walk along Stanage edge, a literal drop.... but that got me to thinking of all the other edges we encounter in life..... now edges can be fun, can be frightening, can be all sorts of things.... there is the edge we encounter when going from one school to another, from school to work, the edges we all feel every now and then... now some of us feel these edges as a drop before us, like unexpectedly finding oneself on a cliff.... where others describe them as coming to the bottom of a cliff, either expectedly or otherwise, the resulting wall stopping them going forwards.... and of course, some of us get both.... now, the crux of the matter, if i may use such words, is this.. that the drop is scary, and the cliff seems insurmountable.... and then it seems that we can go no further.... and going back, as we all know is impossible.... so there we are stuck, unless we can screw our courage to the sticking place, and step off into the void, or begin that climb.... now, starngely, the drop is the scariestto see, but the easiest to get over... whereas the climb looks ok, but is harder and takes longer.... but that is no reason to stay where we are.... now, I've long been an advocate of jumping off cliffs (at least metaphorically...) and I'm not averse to climbing... but personally, I'd much rather have the drop.... at least usually there's only one way to go.... and you don't have the risk of accidentallygoing the other way.... but I digress... what I think i'm trying to say is that sometimes we all think we're stuck somewhere, but we're not... going on might be difficult or frightening, but it's the way to go.... the only way to go.... and usually it's worth it... as I keep saying to people.... its better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, than near the top of one you don't.... whether that has any relevance at all is beyond the beard.... but the other thing i tell everyone is Take The Chance.... it might work, it might not, but at least you'll know.... and one of the worst feelings in the world is regretting not taking the chance when it presents itself.... now, years ago, i was the sort to play it safe, but since decidingto take my own advice, I've been a lot lot happier... mainly down to the chance i took with a certain young lady.... and it remains only to be said that I'm tired, and i feel that the sleep i thought I was going to have twenty minutes ago actually seems to be descending upon me.... so I'll simply say goodnight, and that until we all get the ladders we want despite the snakes, Wisebeaard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!

Knuckles, knockles, cockles and grockles....

So, the beard again is doing his best to prove that men (and I use the term loosely...) can simply (or even complicatedly) not multitask.... if you will forgive the splitting of a probable infininitive... in attempting to write a novel, fix up my bedroom, watch a Harry Potter film, and cut a plastic strip, all theBeard has actually managed is half a chapter of possible claptrap, a half hour snooze, a loss of interest in rupert Grint (but admittedly a renewed interest in Emma watson's jeans... I hasten to add she is over 17 in this one...)and the severance (without pay) of one of my own knuckles, with ensuance of blood over keys, sheets, wood, knife, and a round of toast (to be honest, a slightly trapezoid-with-squashed-arc of toast... but then i was a non-renowned geometrist for a few moments in my long ago youth.... but i digress...).... so, i hear you all ask, as I wait with baited ears, what has been happening to the family Beard since the last slightly boring update?? well, a series of lovely evenings, nights, mornings and afternoons (and usually in that order) with a certain young lady has distracted the hairiness of wisdom in the nicest of all possible ways.... including a trip to the Birmingham Art Gallery and museum with that personage and Beard Junior, in which mummies, champions and teapots featured in varying quantities, and above all a delectable dinner at the young lady's parents abode, complete with roast potatoes and good conversation with CYL pere..... accompanied by the younger Beard and the CYL's fantastically companionable offspring.... hello to the pair of them.... the occasion of course being the love of the Beard's birthday.... somewhere close to forty...... but a fantastic week for all concerned, I hope, with the prospect of rapid transit systems, lawnmowers, and of course cake... for cakes and birthdays go together, and so the Beard, wanting to puthis all into the special day did the speakable and put on his baker's hat.... a three tier sponge with fondant and soya cream (no milk for beards!!) resulted, and it seemed to be well accepted.... but again I digress.... the bleeding seems to have stopped, and i also seem to be a member of some disturbing thing going by the name of twitter, despite never having signed up.... hich brings mme to the subject of emails.... and especially the junk ones i seem to be getting at the moment.... as i said in my reply to the last one, If:I ;;dId"wanTM.y(PartS:ENLA@RGing:I@M damned@:If-I'll,LETAbuncHOfＳＰａｍｍｅｒＳ　ｗｈｏ　ＣａＮＴPUNCtuate LoooSE £W%ith Knive?s anywhere near my person...... especialy after witnessing what i can do to myself with one.... if I want viagra or any other blue pills I'll watch saturn 5 and start crying, and above all, let the Beard tell you all.... I really don't care how many different people email me, I refuse to believe tht this is National Jizz Week...... and i will not be passing it on to my friends.... but despite all the requests for bank details, the thing that bothers me is that none of these were actually sent to me... one was addressed to bobbysox@yahoo..... yet arrived in my Hotmail.... which begs the question, how!??!! and also politely requests the question, if these can get delivered to people other than the addressee, how many emails that i send are actually going astray into someone else's inbox? but there we are..... or possibly not..... now, Todd and Oslo are beckoning me back, as is a piece of nonsense verse (of which, more later) and also a soft pillow... oe of them will win, but I'm laying no bets..... so to the strains of Imogen heap and Tori Amos (who apparently has a frog on her toe) I shall bid you goodnight, an, as the possibly late dave Allen (must check if he is alive... its the least i can do) would say, may your god go with you... so, until we can all task as much multi as we would wish, Wisebeard Salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By all the gods....

Its Hot!!!!! so hot in fact that several exclamation marks seemed necessary...... and after a very eventful month the Beard is wishing that maybe the gulf stream could be switched off for a month or two.... we'd drop by about ten degrees, and I'd be a lot more comfortable..... and of course, despite picnics by canals during working hours (and all legitimate... I love my job sometimes...) very nice weekends with a certain young lady, and a discussion about Norse myth with that personage elder son, we are all mourning the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Molly Sugden..... I wonder whats going to happen to her pussy..... little Are You Being Served related reference there..... but there we go... but the abiding topic remains the heat.... now, I'm not a big fan of the heat, or indeed summer..... autumn is definitely my favourite season, followed by winter and spring in close order.... but i've justbeen disturbed by the mating cry of a vixen who frequents my garden.... and after having a watch through the window I've totally lost track of what i was going to say.... so in the best tradition of Beardiness, I shall say nothing... except that until we all get as cool as we would wish to be, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So.. a day of small successes for the beard... first of all, a good working day in the sun, with parks, rivers and cast iron beds, a good deal on a mini laptop (or net book or whatsoever they calleth these new fangled thingys...) a found passport, thus enabling the dream if not the reality of foreign travel....one day i may get to abroad.... possibly as far away as Berkshire.... but I digress.... also, a mini maglite has surfaced, a lost poem, the log book for my van, and I've remembered Greg Evigan, in BJ and the Bear.... but then someone has to.....possibly..... but I should possibly leave that to Richard Herring..... and a walk around Kirby Muxloe castle with Beard Junior.... watching the moorhens, and a lovely heron....i'm a big fan of herons, as you may or may not know... but that's by the by....which of course brings me to the subject of Cliff Richard.. but thankfully not for long, or for any real purpose....and of course the unsettling issue of age and whether it matters.... for instance, good old Cliff is forever young, taylor Swift was (according to one website) born in 2006, which makes her singing success all the more spectacular..... but its late, I've been fantastically distracted by the loving words of a certain young lady, and it really is beardy bedtime... so until we all can celebrate the little successes, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!

Healthier than fried Yogi....

so, it comes tothe Beards attention that Bear Grylls, that strangely young and beardles adventurer, is now chief scout, following in the tracking marks of such greaats as Lord Rowallan, George Purdey and Peter Duncan.... now, whether this choice is controversial or not is up to you, enlightened reader.... but to the Beard, the choice seems a sound one.... unfortunately, young Bear (although, to be honest he reminds me more of a mustelid... either a feret, or, being slightly more charitable, a pine marten....) has had, as part of his many interviews, been asked several times about the suposedly fake broadcasts that he made in the past.. with bill Turnbull (ex scout and bad knot tyer that he was) bringinging up the first Scout Law, that a Scout is to be trusted.... tohis credit, Bear has apologised on several occasions.... but, I hear you ssay, is a self confessed fake a ssuitable role model...??? well, to put in my peters pence, the answer is yes.. and why?? simply that he has kept to his promise for all his life.... the Scout Promise is a wonderful thing... when one takes it (as the beard did in his long ago youth, one promises to DO MY BEST to keep the Scout Law (emphasis by the beard hisself, to lapse into East Midlands...) the very late and very great Baden Powell, still my main hero along with Captain Scarlet and the man on the back of the plane in the Potomac, was very emphatic on the subject... he recognised that in a Scouts life therre would be times when, due to external pressure, worries, and so on, a scout would end up breaking the Scout Law... but as long as he (or she) did their best to keep it, recognised their lapse, and sought to make up for it, then that was ok by BP.. so it should be ok by us.... and as an aside, the Scout Law, so easy to keep with its emphasis on do and no don'ts at all, is, more so than any other list, a near perfect model of the ideal cosde of conduct, and as such bears publishing here.... from the Beards memory, which is slightly less than perfect..... A scout is to be trusted, a scout is loyal, a scout is friendly and considerate, a scout has courage in all dificulties, a scout is a member of the worldwide family of scouts, a scout makes good use of time and is careful of possessions and property, and a scout has self respect and respect for others... and if we had more of all that, we'd have a better world.... so until we all gryll our bears, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Richard the Third... and that's not rhyming slang....

but rather one of my favourite British (or fairly close to, anyway) monarchs, along with Canute, or Knut, Elizabeth I, and Macbeth, the last of whom deserves our sympathy simply for being married to someone called Gruach, which sounds like some archaic oat-based muesli.... but I digress.... today saw the Beard, along with the junior version, and a certain young lady paying our respects to the brave Duke of Gloucester, king for two years, and the last English King to die in battle so far.... as brave a man as one could wish to meet... and wouldn't history have been duifferent had he won....for a start we would have no Simnel cake at easter..... and that would apparently be a loss.... but it rounded off a fantastic weekend for all.... beginning at my second home (also known as the Scout Hut, for a car wash, during which the young lady's car became seen to be green, aa quick (or not so quick ) almost accidental fixing of the same car's cooling system, and the meeting of this beautiful person with the beard's parents over a carvery, the weekend wqs off to a good start.. and as to sunday, all I dare say is WOW!!! but yet again I digress... a strange encounter with the ex Mrs Beard and a lego brick was to follow, then a much appreciated trip to Wing Wah in Burton, that beloved all you can eatery.... and believe me, we ate! my usual behaviour in those places is simply to take a little bit of everything, and try it all... and sunday night was no disappointemnt.. the steak in red wine, although not seeming particualarly Chinese, was very tasty, and as usual, copious amounts of seaweed disappeared very quickly.... and the young lady herself was very impressed, despite the Beard becoming slightly distracted by the legs of another young lady sitting close by... but the hirsute one managed to pass it all off in the dubious name of research.. its all to do with novels, and the less said probably the better.... but today's bank holiday led us to the field of Bosworth, and the revamped visitor centre.... I remember going to it in the long agao, and sitting through old Billy's version of Bosworth fight, with larry Olivier doing his best crookback.... I must say the new film is far more accurate, and dare I say better acted.... and the CYL was very impressed, especially by the range of headgear available.... after a car-bound picnic (the Beard being proclaimed King of Tabbouleh) a stroll around the fields uncovered King Dick's well, and the alleged site of Good King Richard's death.... then a stroll around the canal, a discussion on the merits of the shewee, a cup of tea, and finally the drive home.... and a sorrowful parting.. but as I say, a great weekend..... and a few ideas.... the beard's plan for a kid's book is being well received in certain quarters, and several other possible publications are in the swimming around the head stage..... but of thsoe more later.... its time to hit the other pc (due it being severely uncooperative , and myself being a fan of the Regan method...)and get some of said ideas down in pixellated form.... so until we can all be brave in the thickest press of our enemies, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!