Mills, Hills, Polls and Lols.....

Now, it so happens that the Beard has been exercising his democratic rights in the past week or so, and as a result, we now have a government which, although the same as the last one, at least has different faces.... In the Beard's homeland we have managed to get someone local to represent us, who at least has good taste in certain things (he eats at my local chippy, and drinks at the Beard's favoured watering hole, the Robin Hood of Swannington... of which more later...) although to be honest his taste in shirts does leave a little (but only a little to be desired... but i digress...

The previous weeks have unfortunately seen a dearth of Beard related blogginess, mainly down to the active lifestyle led by the said hirsute one.... a week in Anglesey with the FMB, Beard Junior and soon to be step -beard led to much fun and mountain climbing, as 3104 feet were gained.. but luckily not at the end of our legs... a close encounter with a low door beam at Beaumaris resulted in slightly pained hilarity, and other such malarkey....

Also on the menu was a trip to Manchester (of which more later...) and a weekend of Bank Holidayness and random Hotelery... including a stay at a very nice albeit almost empty hotel close to Keighley, and a less inspiring Travelodge.. but then, Travelodges are what they are, and at least clean sheets and a shower are guaranteed.... en route to said Hotel, a slightly circuitous route was followed, leading to a lunch stop at the excellent Deerplay pub on Burnley Road, Bacup in the lovely county of lancashire... stet among lovely moors, with thankfully no whiff of a chain and a lovely line in food.. the beef rag pudding especially... godd food, good scenery, good beer and cider, good friendly staff... good all round... try it...

And on the subject of food, any visitors to Nick Griffin's ex stamping ground could do a lot lot worse than visit what is possibly the best Thai restauant in the North of England, the Thai on Aire... Now, Skipton Road Keighley is not necessarily a place yopu would asociate with Thai food.. but it should be.. after a plate of mixed starters, a fantastic curry and other such delights, the Beard and the FMB were ecstatically happy and rather full.... and get gone from your mind the ides of the pack em in chuck em out Thai place... the relaxed atmosphere, the genial host (whose wine knowledge is really quite good, to say the least, make this possibly one of the best eateries the Beard has had the pleasure of noshing in.... a tip.. try the Chenin Blanc/ Riesling blend.. exclusive to the restaurant, along with lots of other top class wines.... you won't regret it.... trust me.....

Now, food was definitely needed over the weekend, as it usually is.. but even more so as Bank Holiday Monday saw the Beard and FMB, along with one of that beautiful personages work colleagues in Yorkshire, at teh 40th anniversary celebrations of one of the Wise one's favourite films, The Railway Children.... now, all should by now know of the Beards predeliction for the divine Jenny Agutter, and of his liking for trains.... mix the two, and it becomes an explosive love fest... I was especially glad to see an Austerity 280 8F running along, as well as the BR Standard 4... but was slightly disappointed that 957, star of the film, was absent due to brake failure... but the beard did still get a tour of said locomotive, which would have been impossible had she been running.. plus a waiting room encounter with Sally Thomsett, a BBC film crew and a Boom was an eye opener for the sheltered Beard.... but I digress...

A short lunch and a long, twisty drive followed, including the beard following a sheep for two miles (no comments, please) until the very picturesque and slightly picaresque Gayle Mill in Wensleydale was reached, where the beard had the honour of watching a newly restored water powered sawmill cut its first plank.... which was nice.... then it was back down the M6, leaving the FMb in North Yorks with the prospect of four more days at work ahead of her....

now, as you may recall, I started with the election, and I was actually attempting to make a pont, or even a point, but said sharp object got lost along the way.... suffice it to say that coalition, cooperation and cohabiting all have their advantages and disadvantages, and that until we all get as many elections as we can comfortably handle, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Railways and runners....

A short while back I mentioned Jane Asher.... for which I am told I should apologise... but I sha'n't....(notice the two apostrophes there... as a contraction of "shall not" one apo replaces the ll, the other the o... just like in "ain't" the I takes the place of the m to make it easier to pronounce... but I digress, didactically....) but if I remember correctly, I mentioned a certain Jenny Agutter.... one of the formative events of my youth happened, if I remember correctly, during a school summer holiday at the age of about ten.... one day I sat down to watch the Railway Children, one of my favourite films... and there was Jenny ripping off her red flannel petticoats.... which is soft porn indeed to a ten year old... but later that same week, I was allowed to stay up late (till 10 if I remember correctly) to watch Logans Run... and there was the same lovely Jenny, wearing absolutely nothing, and getting very wet and clingy in the Potomac.... which led me to wonder... how true is it that our sexual prefences are set in childhood....?? I mean, I still like Jenny Agutter, but wet and clingy, and totally nude do very little for me.... and as for red flannel pettiicoats.... although there is the thing with trains..... but I think most of my sexual preferences ( and no, I'm not telling you, although you've probably figured out the red hair, white lab coat and stilettos thing for yourself...) were set during adolescence.... and possibly later.... and I definitely (sorry Sigmund) go for women who remind me of my mother... mind, compared to some people I know, my preferences are quite pedestrian... a friend of mine would only have sex with Princesses.... he burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.... ( sorry.... old British Leyland Joke there..... but then, so were most of their cars...)But anyway.... if you really want to know, and I'm sure you do, I'll give you a few clues.... think Joan Collins, Liz Hurley, and David Bowie.... or rather, best not.... all I will say is that from my eighteenth birthday, my ideal women has been the same.... breathing, and at least vaguely female.... but seriously... if anyone out there is interested, which I sincerely doubt, 25-50, dark hair, dark eyes, medium to large build, and, this being the most important thing, intelligent, talkative and fun.... other than than those last three, everything else is optional (except age.... 18 is as young as I go...) one thing I really dislike is vague people, and people who don't understand jokes, even when explained with diagrams.... even worse are those who want the jokes explained with diagrams, even after you've asked them to forget it several times, annd know you're going to be dragged into a half hour explanation of something that wasn't all that funny or important in the first place.... but I digress..... anyway, that's about all for now... until we all get the Jenny Agutters of our dreams, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!