november cometh, and the shrubs do wilt....

and the beard has on offer a potential prize to whoever can tell me from where that quote comes.... for the Beard, as all (or at least some) know is a lover of quotes, quotations and quoting.... even to the extent that a whole day was once spent responding to every query, question and enquiry with a relevant quote from Alan partridge.. no mean feat, I'm sure you will agree.. but despite the best efforts of lorry seats, flower pots and karate knees, theBeard is back to plague the old information dual carriageway..... but I digress.. now, for a while I have been promising news of my friend Andy, and his canvas sheltering attempts.. well, with the true spirit of Scouting rearing its head, Andy has been forcibly evicted from his tent, and locked in a shed.... well, in a manner of speaking..... it seems that the staff on said site have taken pity on the (relatively) harmless loony who has descended upon them from the uttermost midlands, and have seen fit to avoid the finding of frozen hypothermic bodies (and believe me, they can seriously clog your lawn mower...) and have therefore allowed him the use of a shed.... which, by the time this reaches you, should have been painted, cleaned and moved into, which apparently makes the thing a hut rather than a shed..... or possibly even a cabin..... but I digress..... the sight of Andy besuited from his tent every morning must have been a strange one.. but possibly no stranger than seeing him at any other time.... but apart from that, he seems to be doing well.... and we're all waiting for him to graduate to a shack, buy a banjo and start wearing gingham... but I digress.... good luck to him in his venture.... and all being well, he should be receiving a surprise around Yule Time.... if I can get organised.... which to be honest is unlikely..... but there we are..... but november is drawing on, and the new year is off to a flying start.... the first frost has come, and the Beard is still trying out names for the last year.... heading the list so far are The Year of the Van, The Year of Taking Control, or possibly The First Year of Two Blogs..... who knows.. I sahll decide on one eventually... but until all our years have the names we wish, a Happy (belated) New Year to one and all, and Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost.. and Found.....

Now, strange as it may seem, the Beard loves a walk in the woods as much as the next man.. who is almost certainly Ray Mears.... and so, when a certain young lady mentioned the possinbility of a walk through Cannock Chase, the Beard of course jumped at the chance.... although, to be honest, if this young lady had suggested a four mile stroll through the middle of a run down housing estate, i would still have leapt several feet.. such is the appeal of the right company.. which remiinds me of a very poor joke.. a Captain in the Royal Artillery walks up to a lady of the night, and asks, "How much for the pleasure of my company..." "£40, " responds the magdalen... "Very reasonable, " the officers says, then turns a way, and shouts, "Company! By the left...." but i digress... after an M6 themed meeting, following a strange journey behind a man who insisted at driving past all speed cameras at 20mph, despite being in a 60 mph zone, we arrived at that ancient forest and hunting ground, where, despite not being startled by a deer, the Beard lost his famous sense of direction, mistook one path for another, and ended up somewhere totally different... whichh is possibly a metaphor for life... or possibly life itself is the metaphor for walking in woods.. who can tell... but regardless, the walk itself was fine, as was the subsequent sit in a rather deceptoive public house.... from the outside it looked like your familiar, slightly run down but still presentable corner local.. inside it was quite modern, with wide screen tvs and Deal or NoDeal being projected upon a wall.. and Noel Edmonds is a frightening enough concept on a 20 inch screen.... although he did help me increase my stocks of Lego at a time when such things were important.... the atmosphere inside, however, belied the laminate floor, being very much local... it was as if the regulars had simply ignored the changes and carried on as if their pub had not gone a bit tarty... which is possibly a good thing....but anyway, while walking along hese paths through the chase, and being totally deer-less, I had little time for introspection, as I was too busy talking and listening... which is not necessarily a bad thing... as one of my friends (yes, i do have them, contrary to appearances..) once stated, "if your mouth ever stands stil, your brain will start working... so please keep talking..." but looking back, I'm thinking that an awful lot of us are just like that walk... on a nice, familiar path, knowing just where we are heading, only to find that we are on a different path, and that our plans for the destination are now immaterial...... and that it is far too late to turn back and get on the path we want.. which is where Andy (the tent guy) has my respect, for realizing that the tarmac he trod was actually the wrong bit, and retracing his steps... he's one of the few that has done it in time.... it may be, however, that we look along the wrong path, and realize that it seems better than the path we were going to take... in which case, good luk to you.. or that the path is at the least no worse for leading in the wrong direction... and teh Wiseness of the Beard lies in part in recognising the joy in all possible paths.... and as I was never sure which path i wanted to take anyway, did it really matter which one drew my feet along its slightly muddy, occasionally ankle turning track??? One thing we can never know is what would have happened if... which is a subject for campfires and science fiction, not remorse and regret.... i imagine that i think what I'm trying to say is, try to enjoy what you've got, and where you've been.... and if its too late to get on the right path, remember that short cuts make long delays, and there are deeer out there somewhere... and as for the rest of my sunday, all I can say is another wow!! and possibly yet another for good measure.. wow!! so, until we get surprised by deer on the path, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so.. thats the weekend over...

And what a weekend.... a saturday, a sunday, and possibly part of a friday, depending on whom you ask.. me and Beard junior vacuumed out the Transit, watched a Clint Eastwood movie, and I was treated to baked bean toasties courtesy of Junior and Breville.... and news came through about Andy.. the prospective tent dweller.... Ebay has provided the tent, and a load of other gear (thanks, Pam McCormack!.. Odin will reward your generosity!) so, the great adventure is well on track to beginning... despite Morris Minor related malarkey... good old Alec.. The Beard has also got into the stride (well.. largish step, at least) of writing again, and Todd and Oslo are well on there way to literary stardom... and it has been a weekeknd (ish) of meeting new people and getting along with them.. first, big up to Lucas of Oakham, a very customer oriented chap from the now incinerated Oakham Co-op, who drivers mated for me on friday.. a great chap, very polite, personable, and with the same customer service bent as myself... given the choice of finishing the deliveries or getting back in time fro his lift home, he opted for the former.... so the Beard gave him the lift he had missed.... it was the least i could do.. he appeared to enjoy his day out of the hurly burly of retail... and seeing new places, even if they were new Parks, Braunstone and Northfields.... but new is new.. and of course, today I met a very nice young lady in tamworth.. and a fter a stroll around the Castle (home of the Ferrers of groby, among others..) a nice sunday lunch and a few drinks (soft of course....I'm with the poles when it comes to driving...) all my usual courtesy and discretion allows me to say is wow.... but more of that later..... until all our ouches turn to wows (cheers for that one Gary!), Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Appreciation of depreciation.. or something else... who knows....

Last night the topic of conversation got round, as these things invariably (or possibly variably) do to housing.. and more specifically its purpose..... now, I starteed out foolishly mentioning Andy's proposed tent living (making the obvious pun that I hope he doesn't get yurt...) and we got onto the alleged fact that apart from the UK no one else seems to have this view of house ownership being more than about having somewhere to live.... I'm told that most people in Germany and the US rent, leading to greater mobility and flexibility... which makes sense to me.. one of the many things standing in he way of, for example Mr Trepolpen of Truro getting his dream job in Northumberland is trying to sell his house... relocation is much easier for renters.. or would be if we had a greater percentageof rented accomodation available.. of which more later.... especially in a supposedly depressed market.. now, to me, the housing market has long seemed cockeyed... why, I hear you ask? Well, I shall tell you, despite you not possibly even being here.. but thats philosophy, and beyond our scope (and indeed ken..) well, lets compare it with the rest of the markets we have.. except possibly Coalville Market, which is, to say the least, a bit shabby... but I digress.... well, if, for example, petrol was housing, we would be celebrating all the recent price rises, and demanding the companies artifcially hike prices if they got too cheap... but houses.. the exact opposite... which I find strange.. now, to thousands out there, lower house prices are a blessing.. as it means they may finally be able to get somewhere to live... and that is the crux of the matter... now, someone is going to point out that the petrol analogy is flawed, as one intends to use the petrol, not re sell it... so lets compare it with a car instead... we buy it, intending to resell it a few years later.. but everyone expects the price to go down dramatically.... and i admit that a lot of that is down to wear and tear.. but no one would expect the price to go up..... even if he car was mothballed, and never used, it would lose some value.. but houses.... apparently though, a house is an investment.. and thsi leads onto another of my favourite rants.. (and there are many of those...) a friend of mine has bought his house.. he has no intention of ever moving.. yet he worries that the prices are falling..... now if he intended to sell, I could understand.. but although he doesn't want to move, he's feeling pressured to actually sell, in case the prices fall further! This makes no sense , at least not to the beard.. he doesn't worry that the beans he bought last week are now cheaper.... if one doesn't intend selling, what matter the price of houses..... I thinka long time ago we lost sight of what bricks and mortar are about... keeping the rain off..... if we could get our minds out of the investment set, maybe the market would stabilise... and maybe if we became more like the flexible renters of Europe and the US we would have a lot less stress.... after all, you can't take it with you... and as for leaving it all to the kids.... well... by that time they should have their own millstones.... and having to work hard for stuff rather than waiting for it all to fall in your lap never hurt anyone... but then I am apparently bitter and twisted.... though cider and twisted suits the weather better..... but yet again I digress.. until we all have a roof over our heads, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back home......

And as the fairly great Carter USM said, the only time i get homesick is when I'm at home.. but I think that goes for a lot of us...but the beard that is wise has survived yet another summer camp, has actuially unpacked, and is back to the land of typos and wierdness... or even weirdness.... Lincoln keeps changing... but then so does everywhere... Beard junior had a great time interacting with literally thousands of Scouts and Guides from all over the world.... and he also got chance to see more of his family... and made a birthday cake.... old friend became reaquainted, nee friends were made, dates were blinded (in a manner of speaking) and all sorts of malarkey, which culminated in a wild round of the hokey cokey at shortly before midnight, and the beard being told off by a guide.. but more of that later... but the greatest news is that one of my greatest friends is moving away.. to London of all places.. long ago the beard imparted the following wisdom... that it is far beter to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, than it is to be near the top of one you don't.... so he has jumped from the ladder, narrowly avoided breaking his legs, and begun the long climb up the rickety old wooden ladder of teacher training.. and good luck to him... i know he'll succeed.... i am wise after all.... now we all know that london, that seaported funk hole of cowardly kings from long ago, is a fairly pricey place to live... and on his combined income of incredibly little, the poor guy was looking forward to starving in the gutter amongst the homeless before completing his course. but luckily for him, his scouting experience and a natural resourcefulness has found an answer... he will camp... who needs a flat or room when the good will of the Scout association and a tent will do the job better... and to those who don't envy him the winter months under canvas, just remember that winters used to be a lot colder.... and many people even now, in cold areas such as siberia, and Mongolia live in tented accomodation, or huts that we would deem unsuitable for even our mild weather.. which I think is one of our problems in te modern world.. we expect too much.. now I for one would be quite happy living in a self built wooden house, similar to a lot of sports pavilions I've seen.. but i am weird... to me, the roof and walls would be sufficient.. the actual look of the place is immaterial.. as i believe i've stated before, a couple of old railway carriages in a field would do me nicely... but most people expect things that in my youth would have been out of reach.. central heating, lcd and plasma tvs... new carpets every couple of years... we thought we were lucky getting a house with a fire in the kitchen as well as the lounge! we never even bothered about having frost inside the windows of our unheated bedrooms.. and look at cars.. my Cortina in 1983 counted as luxury. high backed seats, wood dash, two tone paint... nowadays people expec aircon even in non luxury cars... but i digress.. the point is that these expectations serve not to improve our lives, but to increase our dissatisfaction with it.. but why should this be? well, we always strive for more... thats a human survival technique... but that drive has been, in my opinion, channelled in the wrong direction.. but by whom? for what purpose? well as my old dad used to say (and probably still does... ) if you want to find the criminal, just look for who benefits... chances are that's your culprit.. so who benefits from our dissatisfaction? well.. i shan't answer that.. part of wisdom is allowing others to draw their own conclusions.. but suffice it to say there is no way I'll be buying any televisions until my old cathode ray tube goes pop.... but back to being admonished by under 16 year olds... a strange experience but one possibly familiar to those of a scouting or guiding bent.. it occured whilst sitting watching the sun descend before ligths out....its one of the best times at camp, as its the time when many of the young people actually let go, and talk properly, with no bravado or pretense... I shan't reveal any secrets, but suffice it to say, its amazing how well the bonds strengthen... as I was told many years ago by a young guide, apparently it is helpful for them to have someone to whom they can talk about things... someone who they see as a friend, but older and more experienced ( and hopefully wiser) than their peers... someone who isn't their mum or dad.. I'm sure we all know that feeling.... and looking back my old scout leader was such a person.... someone basically whom they trust and feel comfortable with... now this session was going the way of most of them, when one of the Guides (for our scouts were camping alongside some very good guiding friends of ours) said to me that I was a bit naughty.. when i asked her to expand on this statement, she and her accomplice stated that it was very obvious that the beard fancies their leader, and that i shouldn't, as she's married... now, as the beard values truth above most things, this attraction was not denied... but as I stated.. I fancy Nicole Kidman.. and she's married too.... and I was surprisingly supported by another Guide, who simply stated that one can't help to whom one is attracted... which is true.. and it was finally agreed that it would only be wrong if either of us did something about it... and as an honourable beard ( and wise!!!) I have no intention of making a move on a married woman... but i hope that my scouts are as protective of their leaders as those guides re of theirs... but I digress... its late, and I ramble.. both blogs will be keeping everyone updated on the subject of capital camping.. among other things..but until we all lower our expectations and increase our happiness, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!