Nearly a Month

since last I posted.... and what a month... its seen the deaths of Tony Hart and patrick McGoohan (which means Portmeirion is definitely on the list this October...) and almost certainly several others.... I've been to Chesterfield several times, the West Mids regularly, and to Twycross, which i'll admit still feels a bit empty without Joe.... but its still a great place to visit.... and there have been plenty of wows.. so many indeed that they have become WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!s......... but there will be more from the beard at some point.. bed beckons though.... so until we can all use multiple exclamation marks to good effect, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!

I've probbaly said this already....

but I've always preferred funerals to weddings.... now, I have my reasons, mainly down to selfishness.... but mainly it boils down to the experience.... lets take it point by point.... firstly, at your typical wedding, in an attempt to make herself look better, the bride usually dresses her attendants in pastel dresses deigned to make them look fat and with bad skin... so it follows that the best looker at the whole event is off limits.. well, most of the time.... you're expected to look happy, despite having to give up at least two hours of valuable saturdayness, and you have to spend money on a present that they either don't want, can't use, or have named for themselves... thus destroying any possible element of surprise... on that subject, I was once invited to a wedding, and informed that i was down to buy the washing machine.. some others were down for four nights in Sydney, flights to said city, and such like.. few of us attended.... and those who did were treated to the sight of the bride crying because her stingy mates hadn't paid for her honeymoon... but I digress.. the worst thing about weddings is that three months after, you get invited to a christening, which is, if anything, even worse.... lets be honest, if i invited you to watch me pour water over a baby and make it cry, you'd phone the police.... but if i put on a dress and a dog collar.... and lets face it, you're stuck with eighteen years of buying an extra christmas and birthday present..... funerals on the other hand, are a god send.. the food is usually good, most women look good in black, some wear gloves, and if you look mserable nobody minds.... plus if any of the ladies are especially upset, well, you can always offer them some comfort.... you never know your luck.... on top of all this, the hymns are usually more suited to my deep voice, and its a great saving on presents for the rest of your life.... however, i'm sligtly revising my view of weddings.. yesterday one of my oldest friends (that is, one of my longest standing... although she has been known to sit occasionally) got herself married and treated me to some roast beef... and although i admit to having gone to only four weddings (and a funeral... good title.. must use it somewhere...) two of which involved the same bride, this was the best yet.... partly down to the company of a certain young lady, of whom all that can be said is Wow!! but i digress.. all I wish to say is good fortune to Heidi and Andrew, and i hope it all goes well..... so until we al get wardrobes, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zack and Miri....

made the Beard giggle today, along with a certain young lady of my aquaintance... and may I say that Traci Lords still looked hot... just as I remmeber her from the old days... but I digress... I'm a big fan of films, and I'm especially a big fan of the old "good friends realise they're actually in love" plot.. Some Kind of Wonderful and Gregory's Girl spring immediately to mind.... and I got to thinking how strange it was that some of us seem to like films that others would not expect us to... for example, Beard junior loves, as well as the obvious Bond and Diehard stuff, "Photographing Fairies," "Picnic at Hanging Rock" and has expressed a wish toi see the new Eastwood opus, "Changeling.." none of which one would usually expect of a teenage boy.... but expectations are never the surest of things.. now, whether its the truth, or whether they're just scared of admitting it, none of his friends seem to liker anything other than the sorts of films they're supposed to like.. now, if this disparity is the truth, it makes the Beard wonder why.... is it some innate propery that enables him to enjoy Falling Down (the movie that is, not the accident...) and to understand the concept of said film... or is it simply that he's used to seeing me watch that sort of movie...?? or is it simply that like and dislike are too complex by far?? or even that the nly reason most young uns don't enjoy these films is simply that they've never sat down next to a parent with a big bag of doritos, a bottle of shandy and a few biccies, and actually attempted to watch it... one thing I saw the other day, which I always find irritating, was a young boy asking his mum if he could watch such and such a program on the tv.. only for his mum to reply in the negative, adding the qualifier, "you wouldn't enjoy it..." how on earth can she say that, without giving him the chance to actually watch it...???its one thing I've never said to the smaller Beard of teh family.... I let him watch (based on content, obviousy, which is a different thing altogether.. a five year old and Alien do not really go together...) and then he decides for himself... and ocasionally he'll watch something he didn't enjoy, to see whethr he now does..... which i feel is a good sign.. but then it has always been my philosophy that one should always try a thing twice... after all, the supposed dislike may be simple unfamiliarity... but as usual I'm in danger of rambling and losing the plot.. so all I will say is that my weekend so far has been very very good.. definitely up to WOW!!!! standards.... thanks entirely to a good movie, a good home made meal, and some extremely good company..... so until we all get asparagus with our fish and chips, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes.. we know it's an anagram....

but it didn't bother Tolkien, and it won't bother me.... but a certain young lady and the Beard spent a very enjoyable day at Sarehole Mill, it sunny (and it was) Hall Green today.. an Oasis of calm and country in the middle of my favourite conurbation.... then it was off for a very nice steak and ale pie at The Peacock, where the beard managed to find his favourite Fentiman's tipple, the botanically brewed Sevile Orange and mandarin Jigger... lovely!! And, after a poetry sharing experience, all I can say of the rest of the afternoon is my customary wow.... although it deserves capitalisation. so WOW!!!!!! as Bogey said, "Here's looking at you, kid..." though what relevance that has is lost on me... but, as I am pretty certain that the young lady concerned will read this, may I just say another WOW!!!!! before saying that until we all walk through crowds like Peter Lorre, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lost.. and Found.....

Now, strange as it may seem, the Beard loves a walk in the woods as much as the next man.. who is almost certainly Ray Mears.... and so, when a certain young lady mentioned the possinbility of a walk through Cannock Chase, the Beard of course jumped at the chance.... although, to be honest, if this young lady had suggested a four mile stroll through the middle of a run down housing estate, i would still have leapt several feet.. such is the appeal of the right company.. which remiinds me of a very poor joke.. a Captain in the Royal Artillery walks up to a lady of the night, and asks, "How much for the pleasure of my company..." "£40, " responds the magdalen... "Very reasonable, " the officers says, then turns a way, and shouts, "Company! By the left...." but i digress... after an M6 themed meeting, following a strange journey behind a man who insisted at driving past all speed cameras at 20mph, despite being in a 60 mph zone, we arrived at that ancient forest and hunting ground, where, despite not being startled by a deer, the Beard lost his famous sense of direction, mistook one path for another, and ended up somewhere totally different... whichh is possibly a metaphor for life... or possibly life itself is the metaphor for walking in woods.. who can tell... but regardless, the walk itself was fine, as was the subsequent sit in a rather deceptoive public house.... from the outside it looked like your familiar, slightly run down but still presentable corner local.. inside it was quite modern, with wide screen tvs and Deal or NoDeal being projected upon a wall.. and Noel Edmonds is a frightening enough concept on a 20 inch screen.... although he did help me increase my stocks of Lego at a time when such things were important.... the atmosphere inside, however, belied the laminate floor, being very much local... it was as if the regulars had simply ignored the changes and carried on as if their pub had not gone a bit tarty... which is possibly a good thing....but anyway, while walking along hese paths through the chase, and being totally deer-less, I had little time for introspection, as I was too busy talking and listening... which is not necessarily a bad thing... as one of my friends (yes, i do have them, contrary to appearances..) once stated, "if your mouth ever stands stil, your brain will start working... so please keep talking..." but looking back, I'm thinking that an awful lot of us are just like that walk... on a nice, familiar path, knowing just where we are heading, only to find that we are on a different path, and that our plans for the destination are now immaterial...... and that it is far too late to turn back and get on the path we want.. which is where Andy (the tent guy) has my respect, for realizing that the tarmac he trod was actually the wrong bit, and retracing his steps... he's one of the few that has done it in time.... it may be, however, that we look along the wrong path, and realize that it seems better than the path we were going to take... in which case, good luk to you.. or that the path is at the least no worse for leading in the wrong direction... and teh Wiseness of the Beard lies in part in recognising the joy in all possible paths.... and as I was never sure which path i wanted to take anyway, did it really matter which one drew my feet along its slightly muddy, occasionally ankle turning track??? One thing we can never know is what would have happened if... which is a subject for campfires and science fiction, not remorse and regret.... i imagine that i think what I'm trying to say is, try to enjoy what you've got, and where you've been.... and if its too late to get on the right path, remember that short cuts make long delays, and there are deeer out there somewhere... and as for the rest of my sunday, all I can say is another wow!! and possibly yet another for good measure.. wow!! so, until we get surprised by deer on the path, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so.. thats the weekend over...

And what a weekend.... a saturday, a sunday, and possibly part of a friday, depending on whom you ask.. me and Beard junior vacuumed out the Transit, watched a Clint Eastwood movie, and I was treated to baked bean toasties courtesy of Junior and Breville.... and news came through about Andy.. the prospective tent dweller.... Ebay has provided the tent, and a load of other gear (thanks, Pam McCormack!.. Odin will reward your generosity!) so, the great adventure is well on track to beginning... despite Morris Minor related malarkey... good old Alec.. The Beard has also got into the stride (well.. largish step, at least) of writing again, and Todd and Oslo are well on there way to literary stardom... and it has been a weekeknd (ish) of meeting new people and getting along with them.. first, big up to Lucas of Oakham, a very customer oriented chap from the now incinerated Oakham Co-op, who drivers mated for me on friday.. a great chap, very polite, personable, and with the same customer service bent as myself... given the choice of finishing the deliveries or getting back in time fro his lift home, he opted for the former.... so the Beard gave him the lift he had missed.... it was the least i could do.. he appeared to enjoy his day out of the hurly burly of retail... and seeing new places, even if they were new Parks, Braunstone and Northfields.... but new is new.. and of course, today I met a very nice young lady in tamworth.. and a fter a stroll around the Castle (home of the Ferrers of groby, among others..) a nice sunday lunch and a few drinks (soft of course....I'm with the poles when it comes to driving...) all my usual courtesy and discretion allows me to say is wow.... but more of that later..... until all our ouches turn to wows (cheers for that one Gary!), Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very good week.... and apart from Sileby model railway show, that's all I'm saying.... Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!

Valentines Day.....

Cumberland sausage and cherryade..... and that's all I'm saying..... Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!