Off to camp....

so its off to camp we go.. and this one promises to be very camp indeed... if the old interweb cafe is iopen, I may update while there... if not then Wisebeard twoblogs says have a good week.. and until we are all camper than campers, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May I.....

So may is upon us.. the last of my one a day has been written, my entry for the BBC is being honed, survival camp is over, and everyione is happy.. except my spellchecker.... but there we are... its strange how may sandwiches itself quite nicely between two bank holidays.... its almost as if it were deliberately planned.... but i digress.... bivouaacing does that to a man.. until we are all comfy under canvas, wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snow joke....

Well, just back from easter Camp.. arrived on Friday evening after work, to a camp already set up and under way... and cold.... but fun... hiked up to Bardon Hill (Leicestershire's highest point), encouraged the Scouts to build a snowman in the image of Spoon; its possible that the way things are going, it may be the last snowman they get to build... On saturday, I went into Melton Mowbray to pick up a shed for a very good friend of mine, who has agreed to possibly come on holiday with me this October.. which is nice... and carrying a shed on the roof rack of a 25 year old estate car in high winds and snow is no jioke, I can tell you.. back into camp on the saturday evening, in time for stew, and then sleep in the Alpine hut... would have been warmer in a tent! On sunday came a visit from my good friend Rob, home from the RAF, and the hike to Bardon... and today it was home.... to bed, roast roots and Brains Faggots.... tomorrow it will be time to put up the aforementioned shed.. weeks off are always so busy.... but there we are....also i've been told that i'm going out next satyrday... two friends of mine (yes.. i have friends!!!!) are insisting i go to burton on trent, the home of beer, and have a chinese meal... then go bowling (if the alley hasn't closed down!!) before going off to a bar somewhere.... I dread to think what's going to happen... but I shall put aside the fact that when I was 18 or so such a night would hold little attraction, and go for it with a positive attitude... but there we go.. my son is off to blackpool with his mum at the end of the weeek, so that gives me four days of an empty house.. but i'll find something to do.. model railway beckons... but i digress.. managed to put in ome work on my entries for bbc wildlife poetry comp and a couple of others.. based on an experience at work.. so until we find a rhyme for rythm, wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!

The devious Cows... and their wrong legs....

Cows.... bovine milk factories and leather sofas in waiting.. or evil alien creatures attempting to take over the world??? Easy question to answer, I hear you say... or is it??!!?? A friend of mine... well, more an aquaintance... well, someone I get paid to be near, to be totally accurate, is of the opinion that our beefy buddies are in fact more cunning than we give them credit for... the leather and burgers are just a distraction, to take our minds off their dastardly plotting to conquer humanity... And what first gave him this idea?? The fact that cows' legs are wrong... they are too spindly to hold them up.... they lie down funny.... they get up funny.... and cattle kill people.... about 20 a year in this country.... which brings me to the conclusion that we are at least winnin the war of attrition....but fear is a funny thing.... I once read an article in some sunday newspaper, that it could actually be beneficial to have an irrational fear and hatred of something... so from that moment I became afraid of Mrs Jenny Torrance of 18, Regent Terrace, Brighton.... who she is, I have no idea... and why I am afraid of her is a complete mystery.... and you don't get more irrational than that!! But I digress.... butthen, I have been ill.... tonsilitis wiped out my camping at Beaudesert, and my prebooked week off work was spent mainly in bed, watching Gorky Park... one of my favourite films.... partially because it's one of the few films that features a car chase with Ladas....and a couple of immortal lines....

Irina: The KGB have better cars....
Arkady: Yes, but they don't always take you were you want to go....

And later on, in the militia interrogation room....

Golodkin: Yes, that's him... Jack Osborne... he came to me, wanted a big church chest... That's not a nun with tits.....

featuring fine performances from William Hurt, Michael Elphick, and Alexei Sayle, along with Brian Dennehy (one of my favourite and I think highly underrated American actors..) its a great film.... but, again, I digress..... my sanity last week was saved by my lady friend, who I think still has it.... but never mind.. I never had much use for it anyway... so, until all Parks are like Gorky, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!