a long time ago.. in a galaxy made of chocolate...

Is it really July since last I wrote?? Not really sure why I haven't put finger to keypad.. probably simply my general disappointment with life.... so.. what ghas been happening in the last seven months or so? Is anyone really interested.?? Who cares.... lack of interest never stopped me before, so I shall carry on!!!! Firstly, my third ever relationship (really.. and thats counting the one everyone says doesn't count) fizzled out not long after a trip to Snowdonia... it was a strange weekend.. wet, windy, surrounded by people I didn't really get on with, and feeling for two days as if I'd failed some important test... it carried on for a short while after, but really it had ended about then... I was asked to slow down, and did, but where I decellerated, the young lady braked hard, and that was that... so far she's the only one of my (admittedly not-numerous) exes that I would go back to, and that despite a promise years back that I would treat over as over forever... to be honest, we had very little in common, and (as with most of my relationships and pseudo relationships) it was doomed from the start... but its my own fault.. I should have stuck with trains... we still went away together in October, despite having been finished fro a few months by then, and although strained for the first weekend, we got on quite well, a bit like not-too-close mates who've made the mistake of living together... companionable, but slightly distant..... but still a fun week.... Wisebeard still sees her weekly, and still wishes her well..... but there we are... the whole episode got me thinking, however... I've found that I've never been that upset whenever a relationship has ended... sorry everyone... twice I've been relieved, and once it just fizzled out gently... but strangely I feel upset about not feeling upset.. I sometimes feel my emotions don't work properly... as I was explaining to a close friend last weekend... on a similar vein, I tend to get more upset when I hear that the ex in question has found another chap, usually a few months later... which is nothing strange, I hear you say, evcept that I'm not upset because I want her back, but upset that other people seem to be able to find relationships of whatever nature very easily, yet for me it takes years... rationally i know the reason why.. its because I have always(as I'm sure I've mentioned) been a loner... I don't go anywhere or do anything that involves meeting people of a similar age... but thinking about it, I'm not sure if I'm happier being alone.. the whole relationship thing seems a bit ephemeral... and, to be honest, a bit pointless.... partnerless I have more time to do my own thing.. there's less compromising, less hassle, less anything really... less sex, true, but to be honest, i'm starting to think that's overrated... watching an old Alan Partridge episode I was slightly dismayed to find myself agreeing with Alan that his son Fernando was wasting his Sunday afternoon lying in bed with a woman... not that that side of my relationships wasn't good... far from it.. I think I've been very lucky in that both the ladies I've been that involved with were very good in that area... but it still stopped me sorting out the attic... but I digress... to get back to the point I wasn't making, if you want a good read, you could do a lot worse than Troy Town, by Matt Merritt, author of the blog http://polyolbion.blogspot.com/ ...... check it out.... until I can find it in my wrist to do this again, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!