Two in one day....

So, another post in the same day as the first.. and possibly even less coherent.... I did have something important to say, but as is usual with these things, it has gone completely.... so all I will say is that a lack of communication had caused me to become worried about a good friend of mine in the RAF, but fortunately he's ok.. to paraphrase Gene Hackman's character in Unforgiven.. "Heck,.. even I thought I was dead... turns out i was just in Cornwall..." And in case anyone out there from good old Kernow thinks I have something against Cornwall, remember I once sang the praises of Bude... although some strangely believe Bude to be in Devon... but then, some people think Castle donington and its adjoining airport are in Derbyshire.... fraid not guys.. they're on our side of the Trent.... and we get their Council Tax!! But then a lot of people get confused nowadays.. mainly due to post codes, which are based solely on proximity to a sorting office, and have nothing to do with local council boundaries... or Hinckley and Bosworth district council would be forever struggling with whether to blame Leicestershire or Warwickshire for various problems.... or possibly even Derbyshire... the point is, as Russel was once told, "no matter how far you go, and how fast you run, you're always in the space that you are..." but I digress.... until we all know where we are, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strange things on my mind....

So, last night i was wondering about chips.. not whether or not to get some, but rather what it is in the human psyche that makes one person suddenly think "I know.. I'll slice up a potato and deep fry it in oil, just to see what happens..." once there were no chips... once there was no bread... once there was no fire... now some of these things we can explain by happenstance and serendipity.. a lightning strike sets the forest on fire, people notice that its warm, and someone takes a bit home as a souvenir.... and roast meat... some lucky guy or girl finds the smel of burnt animal strangely attractive, and takes a bite....pretty soon they're doing it deliberately.. but what about bread or beer? What sort of accident ends up with a mix of grain, water, yeast and sugar all coming together and fermenting or baking... that seems like deliberate experimentation to me... but why? What would make someone look at a small, undistinguished fungus and think, "I wonder if that will make my floury paste stuff more interesting... whoops, I've dropped it into that strange rockbox thing that dom left by the fire..." Most religions are so worried about the whole thing that they bring in divine intervention, Prometheus and Loki and Saturn, giving us agriculture, fire and beer... but not necessarily in that order.... and of course, being gods (and a ttan!) there's no need to ask where they got it all from... to me, its interesting, but ultimately unimportant.. all it really illustrates is that we are now so used to thinking and so ill supplied with things to think about that we'll think about all sorts of rubbish... unless of course you are James Dyson.... but i digress... in a world full of serious problems to think of, why do we sit and think of rubbish... is it because we don't really care? Or is it that we just don't enjoy it? Or possibly the fault lies with the fact that we are constantly having a lot of our thinking done for us by that evil entity the media and its illegitimate child the government... and strangely enough I'm having trouble... not only has this strange machine just sent me to a rail timetable without my express wish (pun intended...) but it as also wiped out half of the post, and I am now trying to replicate it from memory.. despite having been told that it has been saved.... strange.... basically, I was trying to get across that we are, when it gets down to it thinking engines, and one day we will all stop thinking about the unimportant things in life, like gilette razors and that Sex and the City film (about which more at a later date...) and begin to concentrate on something important.. and then we will be doomed... so until the thought begins to contemplate the notion of crossing our minds, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!

Maybe I just didn't like to hear.....

But i still can't believe Speed Racer is dead,.... or so Tori Amos attests in her excellent "Cooling," one of my absolute favourite Tori songs (along with Honey, Almost Rosey, Silent All These Years, Yes Anastasia, and many many more....) And cooling has been on my mind for a while.. firstly, the line "this is cooling faster than I can" reminds me far too much of my last relationship, and secondly due to the continuing realisation and acceptance that we are still leaving an ice age.... and that therefore global Warming may just be a normal, expected, necessary thing.... remember the Jurassic period? Well we had real summers then... nowhere near as cold as now.. then we cool a bit into the cretaceous, but still hot compared to today...then the ice ages come along, and everything chills.... now, correct me if I'm wrong, but surerly on average the earth's dominant temperature is higher than it is curently.. so global warming could just be the planet getting back to normal..... aahhh! I hear yu say.. but global warming seems to be unnatural, man made, artificial.... to which i say, why does man made mean unnatural? We are just as natural as a grass snake, our skyscrapers just as natural as a birds nest.. not as pretty possibly... but we are part of nature... but we have grown so used to thinking of ourselves as being apart from nature, that we have no problem in thinking of ourselves as something different, strange, destructive, unnatural.... well, let me publicise some theories held by scientists who don't get the airtime.... firstly the idea that global warming is a good thing... most models show that the temperatur increase will lead to greater evaporation of sea water, and lots more rain in Africa... this coupled with the higher temps would lead to the tropical and equatorial regions being able to support two or three harvests a year... and europe could manage three every two years.... helping solve the food shortage.. true, there would be casualties... the gulf stream would possibly switch off, leaving us Brits with the climate we should have.. similar to southern alaska.... but thats no hardship... and as for the ice caps.. well, if the northern one melts, the sea level will drop... ice, being less dense than water, takes up more space... work it out... and if we get the thirty or forty degree rise it would take to melt the southern one, then the 70 degree celsius summers around the equator, with all the petrol nearly boiling, will probably cause more trouble than a twenty foot rise in the sea level.... which brings me to the most controversial of the theories.... to illustarte we need to go back millions of years to when the CO2 levels were much higher... (now what does that remind me of...).. we had back then many mat-like organisms that inhaled CO2 and excreted oxygen.. they became so successful that they spread and spread, and produced so much oxygenthat they poisoned their own atmosphere.... and died off, leaving the path open for things that had adapted to the oxygen rich atmosphere... now, couple this with a version of Lovelock's Gaia hypothesis, that the earth is a self regulating organism, and instead of jumping on the "man is a cancer" bandwagon, start thinking logically... warm planet... planet cools... for next stage of development planet need to warm up.... best way to do this is increase CO2.. so allow development of creatures best able to produce CO2 in large quantities.. true, that very thing will destroy the creatures that produce the CO2, but hey, thats life for self regulating organisms the size of planets... look at the mats... so the theory says, in brief, that we have sprung up so that the warming of the planet is ensured, and our efforts towards this will lead to our extinction, and open the way for the next wave of development... just as the mats, the dinosaurs, et al moved aside.... in other words, global warming is our purpose, and by attempting to save our race, we may also be attempting to doom our planet... but i digress..... the truth is we don't know one way or the other... lets be honest, we're still divided over whether cancer is a nasty disease or evolution at work... so what chance do we have.... and, asa Tori said, "if that doesn't impress you much, come board this lunatic express..." until we all chin up, put on a pair of rosies and raise those blinds, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So.. spent last night poaching sausages in goose stock... home made goose stock, made from the remnants of the yule feast.. all the bones, giblets, bits of left over meat and skin, with herbs from my garden, home grown onions, all boiled up, then simmered for three hours... lovely.. then frozen, and used now.. which made me wonder.. I've always made stock like this... using the old veggie wateer (but not from spuds...) but it seems I'm in th eminority.. I suppose oxo cubes are just easier... but as those who know me will attest, I don't enjoy throwing stuff away.... even to the extent that once i made a necklace of old chicken bones... but I digress... saving food should, I feel, be a priority.. when you realise that in this country we throw away a third of all the food we buy.... which is not good.. the worst thing about it is not the waste though.. its that we just don't think about it.. what sort of society do we have if it doesn't think waste is even worth noticing?? No wonder we have problems.. but then, I blame the flush toilet... why??!!, I hear you ask... and like a good wisebeard I respond.... there is no such thing as "human waste".... centuries ago, you did your business in the fields, it rotted down, and stuff grw... even up to a hundred years ago, the earth closet was king... drop it in the bucket, cover it with soil, and when the bucket was ull, it went on the compost heap, or the nightsoil men would take t away and sell it to the farmers... how much better though, to pull a handle and watch a few gallons of clean water wash the problem downstream.. why deal with the stuff when yo can shove it elsewhere... and the attitude spread.. which is why we have landfill, when the better answer is make stuff that lasts, can be repaired, and so on.. and get rid of useless packaging... how on earth did I manage in the days before shrink wrap... oh, I remember.. we used paper.. you know, the stuff that comes from a renewable resource, and can be remade or biodegrade into compost.... but i digress again... one of my pe rants....until we decide whether we want an environment or an economy, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!

SATs Ur-day...

So.. its SATs time again.. possibly for the last time... which brings out all the old arguments about tests getting in the way of education.. which I feel misses the point.. for most people in this country, including the educators, have no idea about the aim of education, or rather, what was the aim when our rather artificial system was divised... who has not heard a teen ager complain bitterly that knowing the rainfall on the bus in the amazon delta will be of no use in the outside world... do I see a hand raised at the back?? No?? good.... because ( and this is a closely guarded secret these days, yet known to our not so distant ancestors... ) the aim of our education sysytem is not to enable the student to gain knowledge in the subjects taught.. the actual subjects taught are immaterial.. remember the early schools and unis taught religion and latin.. occasionaly maths.. even today a Classics degree will get you far in Civil Service.. but why? what is the point of education? I will tell you.. promise!! Our education system is set up to teach people to learn... to accumulate and assimilate information, and then show that the student can use that information or skill under pressure... it is to prepare you for doing the same in a job..... the idea is that (i) you will make your errors at school rather than in the more costly work environment, and (ii) to weed out those less able... the aim is not to enable everyone to get a qualification.. in fact its aim is to make qualifying so difficut that it is easy to see who is good at learning and who is not... which is where it all falls down of course.. because today we see education as inclusive, yet attempt to do it in an exclusive way... and we place far too much emphasis on academic subjects, mainly because education is controlled and formulated by academicians... which makes our supposedly new, inclusive way even more exclusive, by effectively penalising those who would do far better in a less academic environment... and here liesthe problem.. we purport to wanting inclusive education, but cannot get away from exclusivity... we need to decide what we want to do. do we separate wheat from chaff at a certain age, ensuring that the so called best jobs go to the best students, or do we attempt to educate everyone to the same level, accepting that that means some will leave school at thirteen, while others stay till seventy.... or do we find some middle ground.. encourage the student to find out what they enjoy and are good at (and the two are not necessarily the same!) and channel them in that direction, regardless of what that is.. value those who are less academic, and show them that just because they are not university degree material, they are not second class citizens... and vice versa... or even verse vica.... in my (possibly incorrect .. but only possibly.. ) opinion, we need an education system tailored more to the individual, and less to government targets... put those who desire high pressure positions under pressure, so they don't crack at the wrong moment, and let the others off.... make education about learning about learning, and about learning skills, and gathering knowledge.. but that would take thought, long term planning, interest and above all money.. all of which are in short supply... but i digress.. good luck to those sitting sats, and to those satting sits.. and until we learn what we need, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avocets and Elephants....

The other day I went with my best friend and my son to a fairly local beaty spot, to do a spot of birdwatching.. which is always fun, even though I'm not as into it as young Matt is... but then he does work for Birdwatching magazine.. after the usual great jokes ( That gull -like bird gave me a funny tern, etc!) the conversation turned to avocets and elephants... which is admittedly strange.... but i see them as a symbol of my basic disappointment with life... let me explain.. i see myself as an incurable optimist, as you know, but i keep getting told that i'm a cross between Alan Partridge and Victor Meldrew... and I admit that i do seem to be a miserable old bugger sometimes... but as I told Matt, just because I'm miserable doesn't mean I'm not happy... he actually told me that on the surface I'm probably one of the happiest people he knows, but that deep down I make Morrisey look positively gay.... I just believe that disappointment is the natural state of human affairs, but like any good Taoist will tell you, this matters not... the best way to explain this is to take a look at that famous piece of Chinese artwork, The Vinegar Tasters.. as opposed to the vinegar tasers, which is something totally different... but I digress.. this picture, which to some is the pinnacle of Chinese symbolic art (although some believe that Willow Pattern holds that title, coming as it does from that famous beijing suburb, Stoke on Trent..) showsa three men licking their fingers around a barrel of vinegar... the firts man, who symbolises Kung Fu Tse (or Confucius if you'd rather.. ) has a sour expression on his face.... the second, who is apparently Buddha, looks bitterly at the varrel.. the third, Lao Tzu, is smiling.. but why the discrepancies?? Well, Confucius believed that the world was a sour place, to be tolerated and put into order... so therefor his core belief was that there was something wrong with the place.. Buddha believed that this world was a bitter place, to be escaped from asap.. but the Taoist Lao Tzu accepted that the world was both, and that that was the way things were, so why not make the best of it... the idea is, why curse vinegar fro being bitter and sour? That's what you expect of vinegar! If the vinegar is bitter and sour, smile.. you've got good vinegar! I think I cn see the point I'm trying to make.. but what of avocets, i hear you cry.. or maybe not.. well, the point is, and I've nothing against avocets (or indeed elephants for that matter..).. in fact,they are still one of my favourite birds.. but after looking ongingly at them in my Ladybird Book of Sea and Estuary Birds I was quite excited at the prospect of actually seeing one.. for some reason I was expecting them to be about the size of a heron... and was quite disappointed to find them a lot smaller....and the same with elephants... but i accept that the problem lay not with the creatures, but with my expectations of them... which is why I still like elephants, and avocets, and my disappointment has not made me all that unhappy.. it would just be silly to blame the avocet.. and it is a beautiful bird. but enough of my wittering.. the curlews are curlewing and the whippoorwills meeping, and it is time for bed.. so until all our avocets are like vinegar, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May I.....

So may is upon us.. the last of my one a day has been written, my entry for the BBC is being honed, survival camp is over, and everyione is happy.. except my spellchecker.... but there we are... its strange how may sandwiches itself quite nicely between two bank holidays.... its almost as if it were deliberately planned.... but i digress.... bivouaacing does that to a man.. until we are all comfy under canvas, wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!