The rules of the game...

Now, the Beard has decided, for the duration of this little thought experiment anyway, to call himself a Football Fan... and why not.... I think I satisfy all the requirements of fanship... after all, I've watched one game under heavy protest, and found it boring, do not support any team, have no idea who is in the Premiership, won the World/FA/European cup, have very little to no knowledge of the major personalities, have played the game while young because it was compulsory, but stopped playing as soon as I could, and, aside from a small general knowledge of some of the basics, don't claim to have any real understanding of the rules...

There are those of you who have actually read this far... others will have taken my lack of footballiness to be some mark of inferiority and stopped about line 2... but as you won't be reading now, I shn't mention it... those who are still here will be thinking, "hmmm... not much of a fan really then... by what strange twist does this hairy wierdo (or possibly weirdo...) think he can get away with passing himself off as a football fan... and the Beard expects masses of support from real football fans who have become inexplicably angry at those who would dare say that the Beard is not a fan... they will stand up in their hordes and say things along the lines of , "well, football is a very personal thing, and each person can be a fan in their own way..." or, "it's perfectly possible to be a football fan without any real knowledge or love of the game...." and other such baloney...

For as we all know, football fans would actually say that those who disagree with my definition of fanship are totally correct... a fan, they would say, has a team... knows the rules... attends the games whenever possible or watches them on tv... knows who the stars are....

Now let's replace football with Christianity... Christians are apparently very angry with a certain atheistic personage who has claimed that most alleged Christians actually aren't... well, lets look at the evidence...

All you Christians out there... a few questions....

Do you know the rules? You've no excuse really... they are written down in an easy to obtain book called the Bible... just a quick quiz then... where is Christmas mentioned in the Bible? What does God say about decorating trees? What did Jesus say to alter God's stand on homosexuality? Where in the Bible does it forbid the marriage of first cousins? And what about dietary laws? And how much of your hard earned money must be give to the church?

Stuck? Ok, then... lets go onto the stars... What did Micah do? Who was Jeroboam, and why didn't he like Rehoboam? Who was Simom the Zealot? How did Naaman get cured, and what of? Who wrote most of the letters that make up the bulk of the New Testament?

And now for the events... the FA cups of it all... what festivals does the Bible say you should keep? When is the Sabbath? How many days and nights was Jesus buried?

And attendance... how many acts of worship did you go to this year?? And if you count weddings, funerals and christenings, did you go to those through fear of what God would do to you if you didn't, or just because history and tradition has told you that it's the thing that you do?

Now, to the Beard, if you don't like football, or know anything about it, you're not a fan... simple... and fans would agree... and football is a game... surely a religion should be even stricter than that, simply because according to its real adherents it matters more... so a so-called Christian who knows nothing about the religion really shouldn't call themselves a Christian... because if you read the Bible, there is only one way to be a faithful follower of God, and that is to follow the rules... which leaves an awful lot of Christians with a choice to make... find out what the rules are and follow them, and be a proper Christian, or find out the rules and decide not to follow them, or even not bother finding out the rules at all... and in these last two cases stop calling yourself a Christian, don't get married/funeralled in Church, and don't get your kids (if any) christened... because if the Bible is correct (and I'll leave you to decide...) the punishment for not following the rules is the same regardless of whether you know them or not... and as an aside, its the same punishment for murder....

The anger shown by some Christians over this is telling in other ways though... by saying that you can be a Christian quite well enough despite not knowing or following the rules, these Christians are giving out two messages that they really shouldn't be giving out... first, that they don't have any respect for their God, and second that they are so desperate to keep the numbers up, even artificially... which is why congregations are shrinking in many areas... as any parent can tell you, the way to gain respect is to set boundaries and rules, and keep to them... and as Muslims can tell you, the way to gain worshippers is by showing your religion to do the same, and not change with the whim of the worshippers... the reason Islam is growing has nothing to do with brainwashing (well, no more than any religion) and radicalism, and an awful lot to do with its perceived integrity and its refusal to alter in the face of a changing world... Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Sihkism, Jainism, and many other faiths refuse to change due to some perception of relevance... their worshippers are usually of the opinion that if the world no longer sees their faith as relevant, then it is because the world lacks relevance rather than their faith... Christianity could probbaly do with taking a leaf from their books...

However, the Beard has waffled on long enough... it remains to be said that the old Beardmobile, that part vehicle, part dustbin and part temporary dwelling-place, has finally bitten the dust and is off to become an organ donor for those slightly more fortunate, and the search is on for a new one... and that Valentine's day has started well and has the promise of getting better, and that life is still an awful lot better tahn the alternative...

So, until we all follow the rules we wish to, whether cricket, football or hoopla, and until we all know what to call ourselves, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!