Years ago.....

I was under the impression that Jim Carrey was a sort of cut price wrongly timed American versiion of Norman Wisdom.... i must say that I have revised that opinion since.. although I may say that I'm still not a big Ace Ventura fan..... the Mask I did enjoy, and Carrey's version of the Riddler was possibly the best bit of that Batman film... apart from Nicole Kidman in a tight black dress and heels, chained up... but I digress..... and I must say that I thought of him as avocet -like..... in that I did enjoy his first mainstream feature, the high school vampire flick, Once Bitten..... however, the man has grown on me.. I think he was possibly the only man alive who could have played man-in-the moon Andy Kaufman... and although he does tend to play Jim Carrey in most of his films, the role does actually fit most of his films... and lets be honest, it never harmed John wayne....or Norman Wisdom (of whom more later...) or Laurence Olivier for that matter... (waits for tomatoes...) but i digress yet again.... as it is, I really enjoyed Yes Man, his latest opus, in which he again plays Jim Carrey to good effect..... the film, based as it is on a true story, deviates from the truth greatly, as admitted by the author himself on radio2 a few days back..... but it is good... and one of its strengths ( or weaknesses, depending o your point of view..) is that it made the Beard think.. and Beard junior for that matter..... we both went expecting a replay of Liar Liar.... and to some extent thats what we got.. but only to some extent.... but think it made us do.... until I got back into scouting, I was the protagonist as he stood at the start of the film... making up excuses not to go out, for no other reason than that I couldn't be bothered.....and life was passing me by.... like Carrey's character, Scouting started me on the road to trying stuff again... saying yes when previously I would have said no.. now in my younger days i was very open to new experiences, but shyness closed me right up.... so i missed out on a lot.... especially between the ages of 13 and 21..... but I feel i'm more than making up for it now.... life is not a rehearsal... i still find myself saying no to simple things like going to the pub, but having watched the film i've decided to keep an eye on that.... and to make sure that if i say no, that there has to be a good reason....I'm certainly enjoying life a lot more at the mo, partly down to a certain young lady of my aquaintance..... and i have also determined that i'm going to stop moaning that people don't say thank you enough, and make a concerted effort to thank everyone who has ever affected my existence in a favourable way.... but it becomes late (or early..) and the realm of the electronic ether is tiring these wise old whiskers.. so until we can all say thanks and yes, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The end of the quest....

so, creator of two of my childhood heroes, Noggin the Nog and bagpuss, is no more.. and the world is a sadder place without him.... now, the Beard is not going to sit here and say that kids programmes aren't as good as they used to be, as that is of course relative.. I know many children of today who find the Night Garden just as tedious as Mr Benn.. and that goes for the children of yesterday too... but i think that nowadays kids are denied the simplicity of that earlier age.. Mr Benn getting a circus over a ravine or Ivor taking coal to Grumbly just doesn't cut it anymore.... and there is a stunningly obvious reason for this, ignored or at least unmentioned by correspondents on Jeremy Vines excellent show earlier today.... and that is this.. regardless of lessened attention spans, (of which more later...) and other such pseudo reasons, comes the simple fact that life is seen as being more complicated than it was... there is so much more for the young to master nowadays, including the fact that there is more history.. look at computers, mobiles, et al... whether this is a good thing or not is another matter... and as for the attentioi span.. well, lets be honest, although we could lay the blame on MTV, it's obvious to the beard thatlife in general has become more and more a series of soundbites as the years have gone by.... simply because we have the notion that there is more of it to fit in... long gone are the days when a child worked in the fields etc for most of the daylight hours, and sat by the fire listening to long stories while carving buttons.. and once the victorians had inventedthat myth called "Childhood" the fate of the nation's young was decided.. all of a sudden they had to be amused.. at least the ones who could afford not to work.. and that led to moves to let the poor ones play, and then we had to find stuff to fill their time, and school was invented because we thought maybe playing all day wasn't such a good idea after all.... for lets be honest, childhood is a very recent invention..... so recent that it is still only just reaching certain areas of the globe.... and it is this that has caused the gradual reduction in attention spans.... the fact that children are allowed to be distracted.. it has happened in adults too, but usually we're too busy chiding the kiddies to notice.... the reason tv programmes are the lengths they are is the result of our attention spans, not the cause of it.... but there we are.. and lets be honest, most people (even kids) can concentrate on something they enjoy for ages.... but if received wisdom is correct, none of you will have hung on this long, so until we can all be the only engine n a male voice choir, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hold ups......

and not of my favourite variety.. but has anyone noticed that as the pace of life gets quicker, things are seeming to jam up more.. not just computers and traffic, but lives, bottle tops, doors.... and important stuff too.... only today, Stansted airport was held hostage by some people so secure in their beliefs that they felt they had to impose them on others.... now, to be honest, I think they were in the right.... and their philosophy, that enough talk has been talked, and we need action, is most probably the right one too... but wat they fail to realise is that most people just don't care about the environment... tigers are lovely to look at, but who really cares if they become extinct.... I mean, the Beard recalls the Yangtze river dolphin going the way of the dinosaurs, and the complete lack of emotion it inspired beyond a quick aaaaawww.... did it really affect my life? which is the entire problem.. unless something impacts on a persons life in some way, they find it almost impossible to care for very long... its my belief that in twenty years time none of the protesters of today will want to recall what they did and why... apart from a few idealist idiots like the Beard.... the problem is that saving the world is important.. but people don't really understand important... to most people important is getting to work on time, finishing a report, buying that car, going on holiday... given the choice between stopping their grandkids living in a poisonous slum and going on holiday, well, Ibiza wins every time.. we can always do the other later.... or better yet let someone else do it... most people's priorities are material comfort for themselves.... and if we're honest they always have been.... its like the old argument of the NIMBY... I want proper reception on my mobile, but i don't want a phone mast nearby.... I don't want night flights out of Donington, but I want a cheap holiday.... I don't really want to pollute the atmosphere, but hey, I got to have that 3 and a half litre BMW.... saving the environment is a nice idea, but its just too inconvenient.... we'd much rather salve our consciences with vain "carbon offsetting schemes", recycling, and wishes that there were valid electric cars, without actually looking at the whole picture and realising that all this is a sop to the capitalist society... Mr Big is not going to be alive in 200 years, so why should he care.... and more importantly, why should he do things that will reduce his income... because that what is needed to save the world.. not more stuff that isn't as bad for the environment, but less stuff altogether... and that means less work, less money, less material possessions... and unfortunately for all of us, less intensive farming, more starvation, and eventually a drastic decrease in population... I've mentioned before my belief that the Chinese, held up as a model of tyranny, are in fact doing the right thing by deliberately limiting their population... nasty as it may seem, we need fewer kids... a lot fewer, especially as we've made sure we all live too long, and have done our best to get rid of everything that previously limited our numbers.... but i digress.. the point is this.. i think... we have to choose... drastically change our lifestyles, become poorer and less materialistic, or carry on as we are.... lets be honest.. we won't destroy the planet, only ourselves, and one interpretation of the Gaia hypothesis says that that is what we are in fact doing, and therefore we should carry on..... i think the ones who want to holiday in the sun and watch eastenders every night will win in the end... and that ultimately that will be for the best.... but then i've always been an incurable optimist... but it is late, and bed beckons.... so until our great grandchildren get the world we deserve, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!