Zack and Miri....

made the Beard giggle today, along with a certain young lady of my aquaintance... and may I say that Traci Lords still looked hot... just as I remmeber her from the old days... but I digress... I'm a big fan of films, and I'm especially a big fan of the old "good friends realise they're actually in love" plot.. Some Kind of Wonderful and Gregory's Girl spring immediately to mind.... and I got to thinking how strange it was that some of us seem to like films that others would not expect us to... for example, Beard junior loves, as well as the obvious Bond and Diehard stuff, "Photographing Fairies," "Picnic at Hanging Rock" and has expressed a wish toi see the new Eastwood opus, "Changeling.." none of which one would usually expect of a teenage boy.... but expectations are never the surest of things.. now, whether its the truth, or whether they're just scared of admitting it, none of his friends seem to liker anything other than the sorts of films they're supposed to like.. now, if this disparity is the truth, it makes the Beard wonder why.... is it some innate propery that enables him to enjoy Falling Down (the movie that is, not the accident...) and to understand the concept of said film... or is it simply that he's used to seeing me watch that sort of movie...?? or is it simply that like and dislike are too complex by far?? or even that the nly reason most young uns don't enjoy these films is simply that they've never sat down next to a parent with a big bag of doritos, a bottle of shandy and a few biccies, and actually attempted to watch it... one thing I saw the other day, which I always find irritating, was a young boy asking his mum if he could watch such and such a program on the tv.. only for his mum to reply in the negative, adding the qualifier, "you wouldn't enjoy it..." how on earth can she say that, without giving him the chance to actually watch it...???its one thing I've never said to the smaller Beard of teh family.... I let him watch (based on content, obviousy, which is a different thing altogether.. a five year old and Alien do not really go together...) and then he decides for himself... and ocasionally he'll watch something he didn't enjoy, to see whethr he now does..... which i feel is a good sign.. but then it has always been my philosophy that one should always try a thing twice... after all, the supposed dislike may be simple unfamiliarity... but as usual I'm in danger of rambling and losing the plot.. so all I will say is that my weekend so far has been very very good.. definitely up to WOW!!!! standards.... thanks entirely to a good movie, a good home made meal, and some extremely good company..... so until we all get asparagus with our fish and chips, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can tolerate anything....

except intolerance.. or so someone once said..possibly the Beard himself, but possibly, indeed probably not... but I digress... but I was musing this morning, whilst travelling up towards Kirk Langley on the changing nature of food intolerances and attitudes towards.... now, when I first became intolerant to milk, at the age of four, and it seems now not connected to a bout of mumps at all, no one I knew had ever heard of someone who couldn't have milk....even at 18 I was considered a bit of a freak.. peanut allergies were just coming into style, and coeliac problems were of course well known, but this was long before the spectre of lactose intolerance, caused in some cases, mine included, by a lack of faulty genetic material, had begun to haunt the pages of women's health magazines and the GMTV sofa.... we few with the problem (including, so I am reliably informed,75% of all sub-saharan Africans and their ancestors, descendants and forcibly shipped American cousins...) were treated like fussy eaters.... to the extent that a teacher once forced a lump of cheese pie into my mouth (those were the halcyon days of teacher power) and was very surprised by my projectile vomitting and severe case of the squirts 15 minutes later.... but I digress again.... starngely back then, someone with genuine problems was a wierdo, but someone who didn't like Chinese food, or tuna, or mayonaisse was totally accepted..... now of course, it seems to be the other way around.... everyone and his dog has some sort of (mainly self diagnosed) dietary intolerance ( and I'm not attacking intoleranced people...remember, the Beard himself has more than a lactose problem.. my genes apparently stopped accepting milk proteins, fats and sugars at the age of weaning, and unlike the more developed of our species, never aquired the gene that allows the milk of other mammals to be digested... so even the goats milk is off the menu.... soya milk, awful tasting as it undoubtedly i, is ok.. but finding the teats on the beans to get the milk is proving a thankless task... but I digress...) and whereas some peopel do find relief from cutting out wheat and milk from their diets, this does seem to be partly to do with the incredible power of teh placebo effect, and the natural effect of finally widening the diet after too much dependency on (a) a food meant for the babies of a different species and (b) possibly the most hybridised, treated, refined grass product there is.... this is bound to make anyone feel better, in the same way that switching from processed mushy peas to fresh garden ones, or from white bread to coarse wholemeal would.... too much wheat is bad for you.... but whatever, nowadays, not liking such modern staples as beef chow mein, tuna and mayo sandwiches and spaghetti bolognese is now seen as wierd... so teh Beard still cannot eascape being seen as fussy.... sometimes I feel I must be the only person in the world who can't stand tuna or salmon (partly I admit because I associate the smell with cancer, but thats by the by...) or indeed any other fish that isn't white and out of the sea... cod, haddock, coley, sea bass.. absolutely fine.. but with my aversion to salmon, fish eggs, and rare steak ( medium at the very least... sorry) I feel as out of place at a posh do as I did at the cheese and wine party I attended... as a designated driver.... and don't get me started on Mayo.... and not the area of Ireland.... sorry but the idea of beating together oil, vinegar and raw egg seems like some bizarre hangover cure, not something I would want with my food.... but dietary problems such as this cause problems all round... having to check ingredients is a minor inconvenience, down there with the dread of new and improved recipes, which invariably involve the adding of some milk related product.. why doi I need skimmed milk powder in my salt and vinegar crisps.. and for all the gods' sakes, what idiot though it was a good idea to put stilton in a steak and kidney pie.... the man should be shot.. and all food designers should be made to say "cheese is not an improvement" ten times a day... for its amazing where you will find the dread stuff... although as an aside, one brand of cheese and onion crisps had no milk products inside at all..... they were very proud of their artificial flavourings... oh, the heady days of the seventies... but i ramble and ramble... and once more i forget the point i wished to make.... except to say that just as attitudes to dietary intolerances have cahnged, so have attitudes to any intolerance... but unfortunately, just as the gluten free are no longer strange, but the tuna free are, so the butts of our other, more destructive intolerances have not faded away, merely changed shape and colour... years ago it was blacks, and asians, and jews, and gays.... now its muslims, afghans poles, eastern europeans... true, pockets of the old intolerances still persist, but soon we'll have forgotten who we were at war with.. its the old Eastasia/Eurasia thing again.... the war never ends.. only the name of the enemy changes.. and if you don't get it, read 1984.... Mel did, and I hope it meant something to her.... and hi to Roberto Ferrari while I'm at it.. but to sum up, if every one was a bit more tolerant, it would at least boost the agriculture sector.... so until we can all tolerate the tolerant and intolerant alike, Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

november cometh, and the shrubs do wilt....

and the beard has on offer a potential prize to whoever can tell me from where that quote comes.... for the Beard, as all (or at least some) know is a lover of quotes, quotations and quoting.... even to the extent that a whole day was once spent responding to every query, question and enquiry with a relevant quote from Alan partridge.. no mean feat, I'm sure you will agree.. but despite the best efforts of lorry seats, flower pots and karate knees, theBeard is back to plague the old information dual carriageway..... but I digress.. now, for a while I have been promising news of my friend Andy, and his canvas sheltering attempts.. well, with the true spirit of Scouting rearing its head, Andy has been forcibly evicted from his tent, and locked in a shed.... well, in a manner of speaking..... it seems that the staff on said site have taken pity on the (relatively) harmless loony who has descended upon them from the uttermost midlands, and have seen fit to avoid the finding of frozen hypothermic bodies (and believe me, they can seriously clog your lawn mower...) and have therefore allowed him the use of a shed.... which, by the time this reaches you, should have been painted, cleaned and moved into, which apparently makes the thing a hut rather than a shed..... or possibly even a cabin..... but I digress..... the sight of Andy besuited from his tent every morning must have been a strange one.. but possibly no stranger than seeing him at any other time.... but apart from that, he seems to be doing well.... and we're all waiting for him to graduate to a shack, buy a banjo and start wearing gingham... but I digress.... good luck to him in his venture.... and all being well, he should be receiving a surprise around Yule Time.... if I can get organised.... which to be honest is unlikely..... but there we are..... but november is drawing on, and the new year is off to a flying start.... the first frost has come, and the Beard is still trying out names for the last year.... heading the list so far are The Year of the Van, The Year of Taking Control, or possibly The First Year of Two Blogs..... who knows.. I sahll decide on one eventually... but until all our years have the names we wish, a Happy (belated) New Year to one and all, and Wisebeard salutes you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

november cometh, and the shrubs do wilt....